Pretty much like every aspect of parenting there are many schools of thought on each issue, and the cry-it-out method (CIO) is no different. CIO is when parents sleep train their infants by ignoring their distress and allowing them to cry until they fall asleep; a method that sparks heated debates not only among parents, but also pediatricians and psychologists. The theory behind this method is that the baby must learn self soothing skills to sleep on his own instead of waking in the middle of the night looking for a parent’s arms to be rocked to sleep. In the late 19th and early 20th century, the general attitude towards children was to not “spoil” them, and CIO was common, it essentially meant ignoring the child and is the exact opposite of the essence of parenting as we now know it. More recent studies show that when the child feels that his needs are not being met he believes that he has no one to depend on, and it negates what parents of newborns try so hard to prove to them.
A gentler approach developed in the mid-1980s is the Ferber Method which advises parents to check up on their baby every so often to comfort and let them know that they are still there, gradually increasing the soothing intervals until the baby falls asleep. Night after night and by trying this method, babies eventually learn how to sleep on their own which is a milestone every tired parent looks forward to. The Ferber approach is not rigid like the CIO, and the latter is cause of controversy by those who are certain that allowing a baby to cry for an extended period of time is harmful. Some specialists state that this disrupts the parent/child attachment and is psychologically damaging for the infant, but all agree that any form of sleep training for infants under the age of 3 months is inappropriate because at that age babies still require night feedings. Experts go as far as saying that this excessive crying leads to digestive issues and damaged synapses in the brain, but at the other end of the spectrum there are professors who believe that babies always cry and this is no different. Another valid point made by parents who tried sleep training was the fact that their children were suffering from acid reflux and were crying out of pain and not because they didn’t want to sleep, therefore this case and many others leads experts to believe that no long term harm is done on babies as long as they are healthy and don’t suffer from any conditions.
Sleep deprived parents of newborns more often than not would be willing to try any technique to help their babies sleep on their own and self soothe. No one truly knows what’s best for each baby other than his parents, and while CIO does seem the harsh way to teach a baby how to sleep, one should not condemn parents who choose this mode. The Ferber method is a toned down version of CIO and much easier on the baby, so it is up to parents to choose what works for their family.
Maria Najem
photo: momjunction.com
