Amidst pressure being placed on kids to excel in their studies, learn an additional language, join in extracurricular activities and so on and so forth, makes me think of one thing. How about raising sensitive kids who empathize and sympathize with others? Not to diminish the value of academic skills, but to be very honest, I would choose the latter over the former any day and I work actively with my children to achieve it.
They say parents should lead by example and it proves to be true because kids mimic our actions and not our words. Children are pure, they know no hatred, no racism, no judgment, and if we want those qualities to stick we must make sure that life’s harsh realities don’t change their outlook. What I do and I find very efficient is to point out the less fortunate and suggest to help. This can be the homeless, an injured animal on the road, a broken toy, a crying baby, even the accidental indoor ant.
How you may ask? By giving life to inanimate objects, feelings to pets and a solution for the needy, children learn to empathize and more importantly it reduces their feelings of entitlement.
If you want to start, play with them with their toys, and once a doll’s arm breaks (and it will break), say “oh poor Barbie/Superman/etc, they lost their arm/leg/head let’s give them a kiss and try to fix it.” If you hear a baby crying next to you or even on TV, point that out to your kids and say “oh the baby is crying, he/she is sad and perhaps is hungry/sleepy.” And if it happens that your child cries at a later point, validate his/her feelings by giving a big hug and kiss. Another technique you can do that will help your child value even the smallest creatures on earth is that while some may insist on crushing ants or the occasional insect, gather your courage and don’t freak out, instead say “oh this doesn’t belong in here, let’s take it outside to its home which is the street/garden.” That will suppress your child’s feeling of superiority and he/she will learn to empathize with animals and others.
Once you start shedding light on emotions by using everyday examples to teach your child, bit by bit you will find that your kids are shaping to be caring. You will see the result in the way they care for younger babies, the way they caress pets, and the way they show you affection, and they will be less likely to hurt others on purpose.
Maria Najem
Photo: cnn.com
