1.Dude, Where’s My Car?

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My buddy isn’t the smartest man. He picked a chick up and drove to a motel. They were walking into the room and she says, “oh shit, I forgot my purse in the car do you mind if I go grab it?” He says, “yeah that’s fine,” and tosses her the keys. 5 minutes later he walks outside wondering where she is and his car is gone.

2.EW

Matched with my cousin.

3.Meet My Family, Stranger
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Went on a date with a girl who had already told her whole family about me, before we even met. And she wanted me to meet them in person on the first date.

Nope.

4.Oops

Got a Tinder notification on my phone…realized I don’t have Tinder and was holding my girlfriends phone.

5.Incompatible Goals

The only Tinder date I went on, the woman told me her goal was to get pregnant in the next few months. I noped right out of there.